Life in a Women's Refuge

Survivors of domestic abuse are faced with a very difficult decision, as moving into refuge is not an option that anyone would take lightly; however, when faced with the alternative, sufferers of domestic abuse seldom have a choice.

Conditions of being accepted into refuge are life changing, in more ways than can be imagined. Moving a minimum of 10 miles away from your home address, giving up your job, and taking your children out of their school are just a few of the stipulations that have to be agreed before a woman can be accepted into refuge. Imagine moving house without a van or any help, taking only what can be carried and doing it all in secret. You cannot tell friends or relations where you are, nor have any visitors to the refuge. Your children have to leave their friends behind as well as the only home that they have known, however SWA do their very best to make the transition as easy as possible.

Each family is greeted with a welcome pack with sufficient food for the first few days as well as toiletries and towels. Toys are given to the children in an effort to distract and settle them as quickly as possible.

Refuge is communal living, and while each family has their own bedroom and bathroom, they are required to share the rest of the house; this includes all of the cooking and laundry facilities. Despite this difficult living arrangement, some women form friendships that are continued long after they leave SWA.

Every week women are required to engage with a support worker, who will endeavour to help find housing, arrange new doctors, dentists, bank etc. all of the things that have to be done when anyone moves, while our children’s worker will help and advise mothers about local schools and/or playgroups. While our staff offer both emotional and practical support they do not take control, this would only replace the perpetrators behaviour; it is our aim to empower women to make their own decisions.

Surrey Women's Aid run both parenting and self esteem courses as well as encouraging the women to take an active part in refuge life. Outings and house parties are arranged for and by the residents, and thanks to the kindness of the local community Christmas and Birthdays can be celebrated by the giving of presents for the women and children.

Life in refuge is no picnic, however it is safe and it does offer sufferers of domestic abuse a ‘way out’.

In the words of one resident-

“Everyday I give thanks to Women’s Aid for the support and kindness shown to me at a time when it felt that no one else cared”

Surrey Women's Aid is a local charity and we depend on the generosity of the local community for most of the ‘extras’ that we offer our residents. If you would like to support us please call 01483 776822 for more information.